Catch up and the worst week ever

As I was catching up on my friend's blog posts today I realized 2 thing. One, I hadn't blogged myself in a month. Two, I miss my friend Peter even more than I thought possible.

Anyway, so Brian gave me some vicodin this morning for my cramps and it was some pretty strong stuff so if my writing is a Little extra loopy this morning you'll know why.

I guess I can't really say this was the worst week ever as no one died, but it did suck pretty effing bad.

Monday I got my very first speeding ticket. Yes, that's right. Never before in my life had I ever been ticketed for speeding. My record is broken. And no I don't drive like a grandma or anything I love to drive fast but A, I drive a doge neon and they just don't go that fast and 2, I'm pretty conscious when I'm driving about where the cops normally hang out and where you can and can't speed. This ticket was really rather dumb. I was trying to get over 2 lanes, from the far right to the far left, so I could get onto the freeway. No one was letting me in and I saw a gap up a head so i gunned it for the gap. Of course in the process of this I flew by a cop who pulled me over. All I could think was this would never have happened in L.A.

Tuesday I got passed over for promotion. This job that I have now is well, way below where I'm at professionally but for the valley the pay wasn't bad and there seemed to be ample opportunity to promote and well I just really needed a job, any job, so I took it. Then a few weeks ago the sales assistant quit, leaving a perfect job opening for me. I mentioned to my boss that I was interested and she told me they were considering it and I was sure it would be mine...but that was before things started going downhill at work.

A few weeks ago by boss basically told me that I had a problem following instructions, that I didn't pay attention to detail, etc. I was stunned. I've never been anywhere that didn't think I did a great job. Usually I get in trouble because I've got a mouth on me, not because of poor job performance. What made it even worse was that the examples she would give of my mistakes just didn't seem like that big of a deal to me. I started trying really hard to make everything perfect. I found myself so nervous that I was going to miss something on a task she'd given me that I was near tears and sick to my stomach. But I kept trying and things seemed to be going better when Tuesday rolled around and they hired some other girl for the sales assistant position.

I wasn't surprised since according to my boss I wasn't doing a very good job at my job but it stung all the same. So that same afternoon I ran down to the Co-op to get my boss some lunch and when I came back I'd realized I'd forgotten her sparkling water. She never orders a drink, ever (well unless it's a latte) so somewhere on my freezing walk to the store and back I totally forgot.

When I got back without said bubble water and she asked me where it was and I said oh shoot I'm so sorry I forgot. She called me a ding bat. I think she was trying to be funny. She's is British and all and those crazy Limeys don't make a whole hell of a lot of sense most of the time but when she said it she might as well have slapped me across the face. I was just stunned.

I made it through the rest of my day but as I slid into my car at the and of the day and started the ignition I could feel my lip start to quiver and before I was a mile down the road I was in tears. My feelings were just so hurt. It wasn't a pretty cry either. It was an ugly, sobbing, balling, cry and I couldn't stop. I cried all the way to Central Point, where I was meeting Brian. I even had to sit in the car for a few minutes to compose myself before I went in and I know I must have looked a mess. Then he hugged me and took me to Olive Garden. I love him.

Wednesday and Thursday were both just kind of blah. The worst part of Thursday was my mom telling how bad my father's most recent Doctors appointment went and that if he doesn't start taking better care of himself well...you know.

Friday morning I woke up feeling like crap and I knew I'd be starting my period any minute. At least now I knew in part why I'd been so emotional this week. It had snowed a lot of Friday and normally I love the snow but yesterday all I could think about was how it was going to make me late for work and how it was cold and wet and I didn't want any part of it. I must have been a huge grump on Friday as no one wanted to talk to me and I don't blame them. Then I accidental inverted the last two digits on a phone number I have given my boss to call and she sort of went off on me via IM. (we don't actually talk at work, we just IM each other) and I was sure she was going to fire me, despite the fact that I immediately produced the correct phone number. But then of course 10 minute later she comes out of her office smiling at me as she taps on my desk and walks by. I think I'm going to get an ulcer.